Donn Esmonde: Silda stood nobly amid humiliation
Sunday, March 16th, 2008Donn Esmonde: Silda stood nobly amid humiliation
By Donn Esmonde
Updated: 03/16/08 1:42 PM
My new favorite person is named Spitzer.
No, not Eliot. Silda.
The soon-to-be-ex-governor’s wife is taking heat, mainly from understandably exasperated women, for standing next to her disgraced husband during his pair of press conferences last week.
It is a too-familiar story, and I understand the point of view: Politician husband fesses up when caught with his pants down. The screw-up submarines his political career and inflicts pain on the people closest to him. It is his horrible mess, yet — when it comes time to come clean — there is the suffering spouse, dutifully positioned at the sinning husband’s side. Not only does she shoulder a personal humiliation, she — by her presence — shares in the public punishment for a trespass that victimized her.
“Just once,” said one of my female coworkers, “I’d like to see one of these wives say, ‘Forget it, buddy. You made the mess. Walk out there on your own.’ ”
I have no doubt that a part of Silda Wall Spitzer wanted to say exactly that. And I suspect that, behind
closed doors, she had plenty to say to her hooker-habit husband.
But I think Silda stood with him out of something other than blind loyalty. I think her presence was a statement, and a tough, noble one. It said that, on balance, the love and emotion of two decades of marriage matters more than sporadic trysts in hotel rooms. It said that the life they built, the three daughters they raised, the family they created, is bigger than the bizarre character flaw in the man she married. It said that the mainline of a marriage matters more than any random, randy detours.
Her message, as I read it: It will take more to bring down all that we have built than a a series of trysts with nubile young women.